College or wedding?

My mom told me she would pay for all of my college stuff if I don't ask for a big deal wedding! It sounds fine to me but I think I might regret it later. What she suggested is when we are ready to go to the courthouse. College is very important to me but I don't want to make a choice that I will regret. You only get one chance to have a nice wedding! Also though im never going to get a offer like this for college again! Some friends say go to college. Other friends say work out a deal where some of the money will go to have a nice wedding!!! I think I should take her offer about college and put off the idea of getting married for awhile! I wasn't planning on getting married soon but the way I see it when im done with college I can get a nice job and pay for a wedding I would like to have. Of course for all you married woman is it worth the trouble? My sister suggested the courthouse but have a party or something afterwards so it can be celebrated! This is a lot to think about!

College or wedding?
College. College college college.





You aren't even ready to cross the wedding bridge yet. A big wedding won't help you in your future. It won't make it easier to get promoted, it won't help you with your earning potential and it won't teach you any life skills.





A college degree, however, will do all these things, and will likely be able to help you earn the money to pay for your OWN wedding when the time comes. (Besides, by the time you get married, your mom may change her mind and give you wedding money anyway.)
Reply:Have your mom pay for college, that way you'll be debt free. Once you graduate college, get an awesome job and save up. Then, have whatever type of party you want and pay for it yourself.





I don't think your mom is saying you can't have a big wedding, period. I just think she's saying you get one or the other funded from her.
Reply:College for sure!!! well thats what I would do. Go to college. get that out of the way and even if you have to save up for a bit u can always have the wedding of your dreams later on. and plus you will be working by then and can save up money for that wedding of your dreams... All the best.
Reply:Go to college. No matter how big or small, expensive or cheap when the officiant says "I pronounce you husband and wife" you're just as married! The most important thing is you married your love! You'll be able to have a beautiful wedding when the time comes.





best wishes.....................
Reply:College - most of the time college would cost you far more than a wedding. Plus if you get college taken care of, you'll be student-loan free so no debt after college, so you'll be able to save for your wedding when you are ready!
Reply:College - no one will EVER be able to take your education away from you. I say be able to take care of yourself first. The bliss of a fancy wedding fades with reality and time... but a college degree pays for itself over and over...





Best wishes!!!
Reply:i put on a wedding for 12 grand. college is more than that. So...go to college find the guy and take a out a student loan( bc they have low interest rate) and pay for your own bloody wedding.
Reply:College. This is a no brainer to me. If you get a good college education, you can pay for your perfect wedding! Trust me, if you can start out without any student loan debt, it is wonderful.
Reply:You can get married anytime and anywhere, and then get divorced. If you go to school and get a degree, no one can take that away from you ever. GO TO SCHOOL!!!!
Reply:Go to college!! Definitely go to college. Good luck. :)
Reply:college then you can pay for your own wedding
Reply:A degree lasts forever. A marriage on the other hand .... ?
Reply:Definitely College!!! You could meet a rich DR there who could pay for the whole wedding!!! Im soooo just kidding, but there are so may options for a wedding but college is so important and the more you put it off the harder it will be to finish. If your wedding is a long way off then just think of all the money you could come up with from know untill then or who knows maybe you and your fiance will just want to run off to a beautiful tropical island and elope.





The expensive wedding is soooo not important and you can still have a big fun wedding without spending a fortune!
Reply:I wouldnt choose a courthouse wedding due to money. My fiance and I paying for our wedding on our own and so far the entire wedding is going to cost us 5000.. Not bad at all. When it comes to a wedding you can cut cost but looking in nontraditional places. I would suggest school if you dont have a husband-to-be. When your done with college and get that job, you just may be able to afford that dream wedding on your own. I know I feel very proud of the fact that WE are paying for our wedding by working hard together. Hope this helps!!
Reply:Go to college!!! Get done with your post-secondary education, get into the working world, living independently and getting experience in life - and along the way, becoming the best woman you can be.


I got one degree, went out working for two years, then got another degree in a different field, went out working - and was 28 when I got married.


When Mr. Right finds you, you'll be ready to bring your best self to a marriage, and the two of you will find some way to pay for a wonderful wedding! You are very wrong in saying you only get one chance to have a nice wedding - your life is what you make it, and you will see that once you get a bit more maturity under your belt!


Good luck! Study hard!
Reply:A "nice wedding" is subjective. What exactly do either of you consider nice?


I mean do you think you have to have 250 guests to have a nice wedding?





Education is VERY important %26amp; I encourage you to take this generous offer.


When you do go to get married, you can have quite a nice wedding on a small budget, and it doesn't have to be at the courthouse either. There are venues that you can have both the wedding %26amp; reception in the same place saving bunches. All you need is a focal point for the ceremony. On sale you can get a $30 arch for $20 from Michael's Crafts. That %26amp; about 16 yds of tulle with some bows and voila`. All you need is a wedding officiant to come to you.





In fact, see if you can get your hands on the book, 'How to have a big wedding on a small budget'; I think it's author's name is Warner.


Good luck in school!
Reply:I wrote a big, cute answer, and it got dumped, I took too long to write it. The gist of it was to go to college, get at least a Master's degree, a corporate job, have a big nice house, a nice wedding you can afford [with a similarly employable husband that with money, you have a chance at keeping] that you can contribute to, and retire early to a Italian seaside villa.


Take the big wedding from Mom, don't go to college, flip hamburgers at Burger King, find a similarly employed spouse, then another and another, live in a one room dump, and work up until the day you die, no retirement, no insurance, no benefits.


And you never know, Mom might be so proud of the daughter with the advanced degree, that she might put more out for the wedding than she had planned.


Dear, the economy is so bad, there are food shortages and rationing now . And the predictions are that it is getting worse. You need to get that education now, the price of one goes up every year. Work hard now in school, get the best grades you can, and choose a profession to work towards, and with good grades, you might get some scholarship money.


My best friend chose a cheap wedding reception, sandwiches and cake and chips and coffee. She is still married, she waited for her husband to graduate form Cornell, and she went to junior college. She is a nanny now, works from an agency, makes good money, I think she worked for spending and grandkids money and to keep busy, and he is in aerospace, as an design engineer. 3 bedroom brick house with attatched garage, huge yard, all the electronics in it a person could want. It is in a big city, in one of the older neighborhooods, but in an area with a booming economy.


The friend who had the big fancy formal wedding reception is long divorced.


Good luck with your decision.
Reply:PAY FOR COLLEGE. Really. Take the money and run right to your favorite institute of higher learning. You can negotiate how much your wedding will cost, but you're pretty much stuck with college tuitions. Student loans are a huge pain when you're working entry level jobs right out of school. You can save up for your wedding: work summer jobs if you want or squirrel away just a bit each month. You can get married at the courthouse. You can elope to the bahamas. You have a lot of options as far as your wedding's concerned. Not so many options are available for financing your education. Good luck.
Reply:College is a much better investment of the funds. You are right in figuring out that by going to college you will likely be in a position to get a job %26amp; pay for your own wedding.





The other thing here is that making your education a priority will likely get your MARRIAGE off to a better start, which should really be the priority--the lifetime together, not the one day event! You %26amp; your future spouse will be better able to make it financially, and should worse come to worse and something happen where he either couldn't work or you two split up, you would be able to make a living on your own!





Another way to look at it is to think of what you will have to show for the investment years down the road.....college? potentially will return the initial investment many times over with good solid income %26amp; of course, a more educated, well-rounded mature YOU!


wedding? a dress you will never wear again %26amp; some pretty pictures %26amp; nice memories.....


duh-I think it's a no-brainer even for someone who's NOT college material!





One more thought .... "nice" doesn't have to = "expensive". I have been to many simple sweet ceremonies, particularly in small Baptist churches in the rural South, that were not elaborate outlandish affairs but were perfectly lovely. It's often the full meal %26amp; booze reception that is the huge expense--have a nice simple cake %26amp; punch reception, buy the dress off the rack instead of some designer gown %26amp; make the day special with individual touches that suit the two of you--it doesn't have to cost a fortune to be a memorable occasion!
Reply:Definitely college! I always told myself that I would be able to support myself, and would not have to rely on any guy. (just in case something happens). College is one of those "great investments" where your return is pretty good in the job sector.. $$ wise. Yeah - go to college, get a degree, get a good job and then make money to pay for a wedding! :) I wouldn't worry about the wedding stuff right now. Who knows, maybe when you do get married you'll just want something small and romantic? I went to college and am working towards my MBA. I don't have any $$ for a wedding, but my friend had a really fabulous wedding - costs about 10k and they put it on a credit card and a year later, it's paid off.





Good luck!
Reply:COLLEGE! and don't think twice about it.


Your wedding is one day in your life, an education will last you forever!


Like you said - you can get a good paying job with that college education and pay for your own wedding.


The only advice I would give you is to tell your mother that you are accepting her offer of paying for college and you do not expect her to pay for your wedding - - or even chip in - - but that if you want to save up and have a wedding you have the right to do that.


That way there are no expectations that you'll only do a courthouse wedding and she isn't surprised if down the road you have a fancy wedding anyway.

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